Growth and Confidence

some days i feel insecure
self-conscious
flawed
wrong somehow.
other days i get out of bed
and feel like i can do anything
(nothing can break my stride!)
...unless i break that stride myself --
with self criticism
self-doubt
by denying that i am good enough
strong enough
enough.

i am truly and always...
an artist
a writer
a musician
a dreamer...
a hard-worker
a person of integrity
(though -- like anyone --
i've had my stumbles along the way)
but i let others determine my path
all too often.
i let others' uninformed words
affect my outlook on the world
(and subsequent actions).
but time and again,
i reach a point
where i decide
to break off...

despite my failure to plan ahead
my lack of whistling ability
my stage fright (when singing, mind you)
my confusion...
i am optimistic
friendly
generous
honest
loving
understanding
and give of myself deeply
(oftentimes, too much ...
too soon...)
i am working on changing my tendency
to become a mat that's walked all over...
straining to improve myself
as i learn about myself and my inner workings
and the world