Clone

duplicated self:

we do not share the same improprieties.

to ignore and set aside darker desires,

to bury discordant feelings

to disobey urges of the id:

these are my duties.

but these sanctions and prohibitions 

are not your own.

pursue your urgent urges

chase him down dark alleys

and bring him the light --

your light.

sate unsanctioned appetites

because no duties and responsibilities

hold you down.

darker, ever darker.

yes, i know this is no way to live

but i need to live vicariously,
then let you fade away.

not even the worst version of myself

could survive on darkness alone.

who's the darker one of us

if i'm content to let you kill yourself off?

but the truth is...

without the sanctions

without the broken commitments

you would be happy and free

to pursue your acceptable urges

and make him your own.

and i would be forever barred

from breaking and disobeying

and pursuing my own darkness.

you would keep me from myself

so you will remain the impossibility you are.

i refuse to give you life

because it would mean death to my fantasies

and i cannot see them wane.

so i am content to let my mind travel through possibilities

and dark alleys.

my imagined self allows my true self to thrive.